your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
