Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
