yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
