Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
