Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
