none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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