I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
