If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
