When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
