He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
