Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dude. I can hear the air.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
