I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
