i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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