there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
