cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
