I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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