My nipple is on Facebook.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
