tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
