Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize