eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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