I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
