Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
