My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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