My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
