And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
