There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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