I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
