i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
