FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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