You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
