I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
