Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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