Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
