On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
