OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
