i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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