I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
