Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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