and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
