I feel like abortions should bother me more
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You are a genius and a whore.
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