I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Still dying that you shit outside
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
