There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
