She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
