Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
