YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need to align my fucking chakras
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
