I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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