I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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