Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
They have beer where we have blood.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
