checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
how drunk are you?
Several
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
