I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
