I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
