you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
