holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
