Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
